Better Angels

"...all over this broad land, will yet swell the chorus of the Union, when again touched, as surely they will be, by the better angels of our nature." ---Abraham Lincoln, First Innaugural Address

Tuesday, July 27, 2004

My Cousin Andy

   My mother is involved with the Alden Kindred of America, an organization of people descended from John and Priscilla Alden.  The other day she told me about one of our newest members.  Ok, I already knew that I'm related to Dan Quayle, so I should have been prepared for this, but I wasn't.  Ok, ok, deep breath...

   Andrew Card.  There, I said it.  Andrew Card is my cousin.  Chimpy's chief enabler and I share DNA.  DNA, people!  And probably someday he's going to be struck by a terrible genetic disease and it will turn out that I am the only one who can save him and his life will hang in the balance as I decide...hmmm, will I let him live to spread more Republicanism throughout the land or will I leave him to die in the lonely knowledge that he and he alone could have said "C'mon Mr. Preznit, let's put the goat book down and go save the country?" 

   I confess: I would let him live to spin the spin on cable talk shows another day.  Because that's what liberals do! 

   Whew.  Sorry about that.  President Gore got me all fired up last night.

   Carry on.